Let's start with the fact that this day did not end up the way it was meant to be. Everything - well 99.12% - happened, unplanned. It was a sadistic fact that my awesome auntie had to suffer with the change of plans that occurred throughout the whole day - that it was impossible for me to even crack a smile anymore. Trust me, I'm not even going to smile the whole night.
After sleeping almost four in the morning yesterday, I woke up 10:30 in the morning, sleep-deprived as usual, after having to wake up a couple of times in the middle of my dreams. (Talking about dreams, I dreamt about the same people, except that in this dream, my crush in school visited it for the first time.) The first thing I did when I alighted from bed was turn to my crappy phone for I had a feeling that I was going to receive some message... and I was right of course. I got a message from one of my best buds, Virus, about calling Slexy (formerly known as Slam - we've just changed it today when we realised it sounded better and more like her) and Tazzie about the planned meeting or hangover at McDonalds at 1 pm.
By then, I would have never expected that it was the start of all the commotion that had taken place today. I really don't want to go on and tell you every single detail of what happened, since it's too long, but I'll give you a short yet brief run-through. I'm pretty sure you're going to go, "what the bloody hell is she on about?" but I don't care. As I have mentioned earlier, I just want to write these events down; I just realised now, that since I have a very poor memory, I might forget about what had taken place today - moments that I would just have to remember for the rest of my life...
So here's what happened:
- Realising that S and T were not going to come, V decided to cancel the plan, leaving her really annoyed with the situation while I started to worry. (I knew I had to do something.)
- I, realising that it was mainly my fault that the hangover was cancelled because I was the one who planned the group study, decided to ask T if V could join us, and if after the group study, we could move on to McDonalds. T couldn't come, since his friend was also with us, while S said that she was not yet sure.
- After T said no for the fact that it was too late to have a change of plans and that his mother was stressing too much on some serious issues, V backed off on the new McDonalds plan. (Although later, she decided that she just wanted to go with the plan while I offered her assistance in Science.)
- Sometime at 2, my auntie dropped me off at T's house and we started studying Maths, and later ate Pizza Hut. It wasn't long enough until it was 5, and I realised that I had to go and meet up with V in McDonalds at 5:30. S couldn't join us since she had to "wait for her mother."
- I went back to my auntie's house, realising that I could not go out of the house anymore when she starts cooking. (Not telling her about the plan that V and I were supposed to meet at McDonalds and then study at my auntie's home basically made the situation worse.)
- My dad arrived with my uncle at my auntie's house. I couldn't go out by then anymore since my parents - who are very strict - had no clue to what was going on. I was lucky enough to arrive at home before they did. At that point, V was already waiting at McDonalds.(I needed to wait for my dad to leave at that point, since he CAN'T know what I was up to or else I would be dead!)
- After waiting making V wait for at least 40 minutes while having some hilarious encounters with people on the way, I finally arrived at McDonalds somewhere at 7.
- My auntie, V and I ended up talking about how annoying it was how people cancel at the last minute everytime. (This conversation shall be kept sealed. That's all I could tell you at the moment.)
- Confrontation between the girls: S, V and I ended up having this long talk about our flaws and subtle problems. This actually turned a little too emotional for our sake, but we've settled it quite well as we knew that we had to work on it... but that wasn't the end of the drama.
- My uncle called us that my mother was coming to drop my sister by for she was also sleeping over at my auntie's house. By then, I started feeling the stress and my mood seemed to deteriorate - even after that make up we had was done. (Both my auntie and I were shaking at that point since my mother will have to ban me from going to my auntie's house if she found out about my nocturnal plans.)
- S, V and I ended up at my auntie's house, portraying that we were "studying" while we were really trying to settle things. Both of them were basically all smiles, while I was still in a bad mood by then. (I felt really bad that they always had to witness my mood swings everytime... but hey, I'm Cancer! It's just like that for me. I think I just felt bad about all the troubles I had caused my auntie and the shock the stress gave me.)
- After everything was settled and fine, my auntie dropped S and V. Everything's fine... for them. For me, it was *blank stare*.
And then that was it. As I've said, there are some details that I've left out because they're either too private or not important, but yeah... I'm kind of blank at the moment. I'm just thinking too much I guess that I feel like my brain is about to pop out...
But you know what - I just realised what my flaws are. Besides the fact that I don't speak up when I should have, I tend to be too reserved. No wonder I tend to prefer the corner in the old times. Plus, another flaw that I have is I tend to be very selfish. My dear best buds would not notice, but that's a side they still haven't seen of me, a side that they should never be exposed to...
I know changing for the sake of others is not the way, but I know that this is for the better. My buds have absolutely accepted the fact that I'm this pessimistic troubled git - and I'm very thankful and I love them for that - but I now realised that I shall not make this hard for them. They don't deserve this at all... so now:
I officially promise
that I shall try my best not to become selfish
and basically become that optimistic, always-smiling git
that I was when I was younger.
So yeah, that's it for now. I'm going to smile and erase all the worries in my head. Tomorrow is another day, and I know that the time will come where everything will turn out to be the way I would love it to be. It basically takes patience, I guess - as most people would say.
Anyway, I'd have to leave by now. I've been writing for at least more than an hour and a half, and my eyes are starting to get sore. I'm kind of waiting for this Filo teleserye, Kambal sa Uma, in TFC. Oh wait, it's actually starting now! So catch up to you guys later.
Thanks for taking this time to listen. It just made me realise that there is basically more to all this darned thing that's happening to me, and that there are perhaps reasons why they happen. Thanks again. =]
PS: I would have to tell you about my dreams. It's getting really freaky in the sense that the people are still the same. Pardon me if I nonsensically ranted out on this post; it's very selfish of me... so talk to you mates, later, oki? =]
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