Pardon me, it's now 2:02 am, and I've approximately skipped two hours of writing while watching Kambal Sa Uma in TFC. I can't really help it, can I? This love issues revolving around Ella & Gab and Vira & Dino literally just crack me up! It's not really funny to be honest, but the fact that I have been squeeing like a weirdo throughout the series was basically something to be considered. I simply can't wait until next week to watch the marathon again, although it's impossible since it shows before the day we leave to Blue Mountains. GIT! I'm such in an unfortunate situation! Why the bloody heck does the show need to start when I'm not at a reachable space?
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Today, Slexy, Virus, her sister, and I finally watched the Twilight movie at V's house (after repeatedly having problems on where we were coming and when the heck the movie will start since 1 pm) around 7 pm. Our eyes laid on the screen for the two hours of the movie (with some minor interruptions in the middle of the movie) and - oh boy - did time go fast. It wasn't long until S had to leave, and then I was dropped off by V and her mother to my auntie's house about 11 pm... V had actually asked me to sleepover but I unwillingly rejected the offer. I obviously wanted to, but I couldn't because of the obvious reason that she will get sick of me and the fact that I have church early tomorrow (and my parents totally banned me from sleeping over, although there was a indeed time that I slept over without her permission and almost got busted)...
But chill for a moment - I'm not here to recap my day but to rather share what the bloody heck I feel about today. Well, guess what? I don't know what to think anymore after this sort of revelation of my dear best buds. It was basically something that was totally uncalled for. I couldn't be anything else but shocked (and even very isolated in a way) that it was like a literal stun for me. I tried my hardest to chill, but confuzzled thoughts just zap through my brain...
Guess what? I might have said that they needed some space, but now I realise that I may be the one who needs some space from them. The fact that this was my last week of hanging out didn't work out as it was supposed to; now, they've decided to not hangout until the holidays since I won't be coming anymore. GIT! It's not like they need me or anything. Trust me, I might have mentioned this before, but I think they'll be better off without me. I, the next time I probably hangout with those two, picture myself as alienated git who's like this little unfortunate homeless freak who completely feels out of place. But who cares? For now, I think the fact that I will be spending my time with my other best bud/brother, Tazzie, next week in Blue Mountains will ease my troubled mind...
It was hilarious when I told them that I was taking T instead of them since V reacted in this very surprised manner. I was certain she didn't expect that, since she probably thought of it more as a date or something. We know well that T and I are more like siblings who are very protective over each other, so there should be no malice really. I think that V might have wanted to come as well - but seriously, I thought she had said "no" last time when she said she wouldn't come if S wasn't there since she was already sick of seeing me literally everyday. Maybe, I could still squish her in. It might be my fault for taking what she had said as a "no" - but oh well - there's always the next time. I could only say though that - to play safe - that I will only get with people who is not sick of me at that point of time. I don't want to hear those "I'm getting sick of you" comments anymore as I have said yesterday; they're bloody hurtful.
But you know what? I feel like I'm making a big deal out of this - again! Even if their revelations were real or meant as a joke, they're both my best buds and I would accept them in whatever crazy beliefs they have. I had learnt to love them as sisters like I've known them for a very long time (well, it does feel like it anyway). Anyway, I know that V was pissed at me for my unreasonable reaction, so I'm going to get over this whole little drama. It's not even anything - to think about it. I'm will just have to learn to accept that fact that maybe, this is part of my fate - the part where I wholesomely surrender - which I have to go through...
But I told you: it's so not a big deal! The only part I'd have to deal with is that alienation part where it'll probably be the worse. Oh well, the worst thing that could probably happen is that I will have to deal it for eternity. LOL! It's not even close to funny, but the thought of me going mental is bloody hilarious. I'll probably look cool wearing those straitjackets anyway...
Anyway, I have to go now since it's already 3:47 am and I have church tomorrow. I promise I'll try my best to let go of my unpleasant thoughts before I lay down to rest for the sake of me, my best buds and my sanity. But OMG! It's bloody hard, bloody hard - I tell you... *prays for mind recovery*
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