Alright, now it's 8:02 pm - not far from what I expected. Now, I'll just continue with stuff really. I'll warn you all now that I may leave out some facts about the occurrences today; you probably know by now that I'm pretty forgetful anyway...
Moving on, I signed in Windows Messenger (yes, the old one since my auntie doesn't use it anyway) to check for the few usual people. I ended up talking to Virus' sister who told me that V wanted to talk to me. Well, I didn't expect things to go ballistic since I was planning to tell V about this solution for her "MSN problem", but I obviously didn't get to since our conversation ended up revolving about what I've written in my two previous blog entries, her newest blog entry and basically everything that was related to it...
The first subject that we talked about was the fact that she had read my blog while she opened her blog account (I think). I couldn't help but get nervous for the reason that I know she'll react negatively somehow. Well, she didn't really responded that way, but I knew there was going to be some tension. The next thing I knew was that I read her blog, discovering some few interesting perspectives of her...
I'd like to apologise in advance if I may have thought of something really stupid, but since I'm going to be "honest to blog" and I can't lie to my dear buddy anyway, here were some of the thoughts than ran through my head at that point of time after reading her blog:
- What do you mean by "BJ thinks she's left out when she's not"? Are you freakin'ly joking me? Yeah, sure - I'm never left out am I? (I meant this in a very dark, sarcastic manner.)
- What the bloody hell are you talking about "scared of hanging out with her" thing? Why can't you just say that to my face to avoid misunderstandings? You know how I bloody think. I'm bloody sensitive! You forgot? Oh yeah, we're both forgetful, right? (I still meant this in a very dark, sarcastic manner.)
- What do you mean about knowing everything about me? I doubt it. You don't even listen to what the bloody hell I'm saying at times - most of the times. You're probably not even close to knowing my basics! (Alright, I'm not going to deny I was feeling really angry and sad at this point. I may not have meant what I said, but there's some truth behind it maybe.)
- What do you mean "leaving 1 of our friends out"? Doesn't that refer to me mainly? You don't only keep saying that Slexy has to go with us because of that reason. I'm not forgetful when it to painful words, mate. As Tazzie says: "your words cut deeper than any blade." So guess what? It does... and you don't have a bloody clue to it.
Alright, mates - just a reminder to V if you ever get to read this. I'm really really sorry if I even thought of these, but at least you know. I'm completely being honest with you, and I hope you'll appreciate that in a way. Those thoughts occurred to me in like a 12 second period, a really short time if you ask me.
It was a long while we've kind of argued on a lot of things. I swear - I got really scared when I thought it wasn't going to end up well that I started shaking. I think the culprit of this was the fact that I didn't get to explain properly about the whole thing yesterday that I left out some stuff about it - a lot actually. There was one time she misinterpreted the whole break time that she thought I was getting sick of her (which is like the total opposite since I knew well she's the one getting sick of me) and that I should just completely stop hanging out with them if that's the case. GIT! She got it completely wrong. It was then I thought the whole conversation was going to end up badly, so I started panicking crazily. I'm lucky that no one got to see my reaction by then. See what I mean about misreading my blog?
It was a great relief when we both agreed on discussing the subject tomorrow, settling this together, "face to face" as she may put it. You know what? I feel bad in the sense that I feel like I've been pissing her off these past few days. If she was just some random friend who doesn't care, she could have probably just have thrown me out or something. I love her for that. Gosh. I can't imagine losing her or S or T as my best buds - they're bloody important to me. I didn't just reject the opportunity of moving to a better school which could have boosted my academic level. I just hope they realise that they really do mean a lot to me...
Anyway, I don't want to worry about that too much at the moment, since I'm already beginning to think I forgot a lot of stuff. I'll be dealing with it tomorrow anyway. I just hope that everything that I want to say will go out perfectly tomorrow.
Oh yeah, T has just created his blog after accidentally bumping into my blog for some lucky reason while typing "git" in Google. LOL! I just can't wait to help him fix it sometime. That reminds me though - I think I gave him a heart attack when he found out that he's the only one going with me to Blue Mountains. He thought it was going to be awkward, but I told him that it will not be awkward if we were indeed brother/sister buddies. Come on, am I right? I love him as my brother (and I think and hope it's the same thing for him), and I'm sure he knows that.
Anyway, I got to go now before my dear mother chops my head off. I'm 42 minutes past my curfew at 10 pm! *hastily leaves and then goes back*
Oh, check out this new video from 2009 MTV Movie Awards of the first clip from New Moon that was shown in ET (I think)! If today ended up badly, this could probably the only thing that could have made me smile... LOL!Spoiler alert: Click here to watch the video from RobertandKristen.Org.
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