Desperation Barely Pays Off

Guess what? My desperation to get a phone with credit went nowhere. I gave up without even knowing I did because I just suddenly lost consciousness. From that moment I gave my last words yesterday, I immediately directed to my sister who was watching Spongebob Squarepants at that point. The next thing I knew, I asked her if we could watch some Michael Jackson videos because I was getting really addicted to his Dirty Diana song. Bloody hell. By then, I was still waiting for my parents to open their door so I could barge in and "borrow" their phone. LOL! Oh well, my plan didn't go as I wanted it to be. I ended up spending time with my sister and watching those Michael Jackson videos until 3:30 am before she bailed out on me. I ended up playing Klondike until the moment I fainted to sleep somewhere at 5 am. How did I know when i fell asleep? The last time I checked the clock was at 4:45 am.

Oh well, now I woke up and I finally get to send her a message - a really long one. The only thing is that I don't know if all of this sleeping late issue paid off. I'm like the woman of wrong decisions. The next thing I know, I had this little argument with her again, and - bloody hell - it's so not what I wanted. She said something about she hates the new me... I don't know. It's complicated. I can't even react properly because my mind is phased somewhere off the roads. Well, I don't know how long I could stand not talking to her properly. I don't know. I'm having random thoughts in my head, and I can't even think properly. Maybe, I'm the one with problems. GIT! I don't care anymore. Haven't I mentioned that I'm going to have a heart of stone? Maybe I didn't even mean that. I just probably meant a new me. Maybe she's right. The new me is not likeable enough. But guess what? At least, I'm moving on from my bad way of thinking, my selfish perspectives. She doesn't know how much this whole change means to me anyway. I almost lost my mind - you know...

Anyway, I was planning to sleep, but not anymore. I have duties to fulfill, and that involves making graphics for my graphics shop in this fun little interactive Harry Potter website, Nero Xauror. Plus, I'm kind of feeling this new wave of anger after V had mentioned that I had changed. Oh well, it's not her that I'm angry with. It's probably myself... or the fact all of these crap are happening to me while I could have changed my path of life. Instead, I chose this path way where I have to deal with lots of stress and life problems...

Oh wait, she just sent me a message. Just now (2:05 pm). I don't know what to think anymore. She's making me have lots of thinking in my head. It hurts in a way. It's like my brain is overloaded and is about to explode. Anyway, all I know is even if we keep having this countless arguments, she'll always be my best bud and I'll always love her. For everyone's sake, she's like a real sister to me - you know. Plus, sisters do fight a lot of times in real life. You should see me and my sister or V and her sister. LOL! Even though how much arguments and brawls - those catfights - I have with my sister, I will always love her - you know. It's the same with V I guess. Exactly the same - except that we never had brawls. LOL!

Anyway, I'm off for now. I'm still need to shower and get ready before I pick her up at 3 pm which is exactly 42 minutes away from now. You know, I'm still very sleepy... *yawns*